when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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