1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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