Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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