its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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