But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
