WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
