thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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