brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
