This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
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white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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