we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
