I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
