so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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