Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i permit you to call me
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
