My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
