Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
