Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
