I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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