im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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