I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
