you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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