If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
