i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
