Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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