Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
