Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
