make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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