That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
