Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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