I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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