At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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