frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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