quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
