Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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