If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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