someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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