since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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