so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
