...so i touched it.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
