Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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