Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
