Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize