Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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