Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
