She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize