I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
