My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
