just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
