One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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