she was so not down for the gang bang
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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