Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Oh god it's open bar.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize