Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
