I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize