Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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