Nicole vs. Life
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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