I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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